If you’re coaching teams (or leading them), you already know there’s zero chance everyone’s working from the same personality playbook. Statistically, it’s impossible, and honestly, if we all thought and acted the same, work would be a bore. The magic (and, let’s be real, the messiness) of teams is found in our differences.
The Book That Changed My Perspective
I recently finished Surrounded by Idiots by Thomas Erikson. If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking, “Why doesn’t this person get it?”—this book’s for you. The title is cheeky, but Erikson’s message is anything but flippant. He dives into the real-world challenge of working with people whose behaviours don’t align with ours, and why that can trigger frustration, miscommunication, and those “throw your hands up” moments.
Erikson leans heavily on the DISC model, originally developed by psychologist William Moulton Marston in the 1920s (Marston, W.M. Emotions of Normal People, 1928). DISC breaks down behaviour into four broad styles:
- Dominance (D): Direct, results-oriented, competitive
- Influence (I): Social, enthusiastic, persuasive
- Steadiness (S): Calm, supportive, dependable
- Conscientiousness (C): Analytical, detail-oriented, precise
Most of us are a blend, but we tend to have a dominant style. (If you’re curious, there are plenty of free and paid DISC assessments online.)
What This Means for Coaches and Leaders
Here’s where things get interesting: each of these styles has different motivators, stressors, and ways of communicating. What feels like “clear direction” to a Dominant might come off as abrasive to a Steadiness type. Influencers might crave social connection, while Conscientious types want the facts and a clear process. If you’re not tuned in, it’s easy to misread someone’s behaviour or worse, write them off.
As Erikson puts it, “It’s not that people are idiots. It’s that we’re all idiots in someone else’s language.” (Surrounded by Idiots, 2014)
Faster Results, Better Conversations
Recently, I put Erikson’s advice to the test with a group I’m coaching. Instead of defaulting to my usual approach, I paused to consider each person’s style. I adjusted how I framed questions, how much detail I shared, and even how I celebrated wins. The result? We moved through the coaching arc, identifying the issue, surfacing opportunities, defining success, and celebrating progress faster and with more buy-in than ever before. The conversations felt lighter, more honest, and, most importantly, more productive.
Would I have gotten there without DISC? Maybe. But it would’ve taken longer, and I might’ve missed some subtle cues that made all the difference.
Why I’m Still (Cautiously) Skeptical, And Why That’s Okay
I can understand being skeptical about “personality models,” you’re not alone. I’ve seen plenty come and go, and I’m still a little wary. But after reading the book and trying out some of the insights, I feel there’s something here worth digging into further. Maybe it’s my psychology background resurfacing, but I’m seeing behaviours with a more transparent lens.
The Research Backs It Up
There’s more than anecdote here—studies show that teams with higher behavioural awareness have better collaboration, higher engagement, and improved performance (Wiley, J. The Impact of Everything DiSC® on Organizational Culture, 2021; Goleman, D. Emotional Intelligence, 1995). In my experience, even a basic understanding of these models can shift the way teams communicate and solve problems.
How to Start Exploring DISC
- Take a DISC assessment: Try a reputable tool—just for curiosity’s sake.
- Observe your team: Who’s direct? Who’s the glue? Who asks for details? Who rallies the group?
- Experiment: At the next meeting, flex your style. More structure for the C’s, more connection for the I’s, more clarity for the D’s, more reassurance for the S’s.
- Stay open: DISC isn’t a silver bullet, but it’s a solid tool in the coaching toolbox.
Let’s Keep the Conversation Going
If you haven’t looked into DISC yet, I think you should. And if you have, I’d love to hear your stories, what’s worked, what hasn’t, and how it’s changed the way you coach or lead. Drop a comment, send a message, or let’s connect over coffee. The more we learn from each other, the better we can help our teams and ourselves grow.
References & Further Reading:
- Erikson, T. (2014). Surrounded by Idiots: The Four Types of Human Behaviour (or, How to Understand Those Who Cannot Be Understood).
- Marston, W.M. (1928). Emotions of Normal People.
- Wiley, J. (2021). The Impact of Everything DiSC® on Organizational Culture. Wiley Publishing.
- Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ.