Empathy Isn’t Soft. It’s a Business Advantage (Ask EllisDon)

by | Jun 10, 2026 | Finding Value Blog | 0 comments

Empathy and strength
I was at my son’s college graduation recently, and the chancellor, Geoff Smith (former CEO of EllisDon), shared a story I keep thinking about.
In the 90s, EllisDon was in trouble. They were a major construction company with a big name and big projects, but they were getting in their own way. Smith’s point was simple: people didn’t want to work with them because they lacked empathy. That reputation created friction with partners and clients, and friction became a business problem.
So they changed direction. They worked on empathy as a deliberate capability; how they listened, how they handled conflict, how they collaborated, and how they showed up with clients. They rebuilt how they worked with others, and it helped them rebuild momentum.
That’s the part leaders miss: empathy isn’t “being nice.” It’s reducing friction so performance can show up.

What empathy actually means at the executive level

Empathy at work is the ability to understand what someone is dealing with (client, partner, employee) and adjust your behaviour so the work can move.
It’s not an agreement. It’s not lowering standards. It’s not avoiding hard calls.
It’s clarity + respect, delivered in a way that maintains trust.

Why this matters to the C‑suite and business owners

If empathy is low, people protect themselves. And once people go into protection mode, you pay for it everywhere:
  • Slower decisions (because nobody wants to be the one holding the bag)
  • More rework (because issues get raised late, not early)
  • More escalation (because normal conflict can’t be handled at the right level)
  • Higher turnover (because the emotional tax becomes the job)
  • Client and vendor drag (because working with you feels harder than it should)
From the outside, it looks like a delivery problem. Underneath, it’s a trust problem.
Empathy is one of the few levers that improve speed, quality, and retention simultaneously.

The empathy trap: confusing empathy with “giving in”

A lot of leaders avoid empathy because they think it means:
  • “I have to agree.”
  • “I have to make everyone happy.”
  • “I have to soften every message.”
No.
Empathy is: “I understand what you’re dealing with.” Leadership is: “Here’s the decision we’re making, and why.”
You can hold a hard line and still be empathetic. In fact, that’s what strong leadership looks like: direct, clear, and human.

The “friction audit”: a practical way to build empathy without getting fluffy

If you want empathy to become real in your organization, don’t start with a values poster. Start with one repeatable operating rhythm.
Run this 20‑minute friction audit this week:
  1. Pick one relationship that feels heavy. A key client, vendor, or internal partner with whom every interaction has tension.
  2. Ask two questions, and don’t defend yourself while they answer.
  • “What’s it like to work with us right now?”
  • “What do we do that makes your job harder than it needs to be?”
  1. Reflect back on what you heard in one sentence. Not a solution. Not a rebuttal. Just: “So what I’m hearing is…”
  2. Make one visible change within 7 days. Small is fine. The point is credibility. People don’t trust empathy statements; they trust behaviour change.
Do this consistently, and you’ll notice something fast: fewer surprises, fewer escalations, and cleaner decisions.

The real win: empathy makes high standards easier to meet

When empathy is low, your standards feel like pressure. When empathy is high, your standards feel like clarity.
People can handle high expectations. What breaks them is high expectations plus mixed messages, constant last‑minute changes, and the feeling that nobody is listening.
Empathy reduces that tax. And when the tax drops, performance goes up.
If you're trying to build agility without wearing your people down, book a focused call: https://meetings.hubspot.com/jberriault. Bring one team that looks "fine" from the outside but feels stretched underneath. We'll look at what's contributing to the strain, system, behaviour, or both, and find the first change that helps people breathe, speak honestly, and work in a healthier way. What's the earliest sign you notice when a team is starting to burn out?
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